User blog:NightFalcon9004/Peter Griffin vs Homer Simpson. Epic Cartoon Rap Battles 1
Battle= The main protagonist of Family Guy, Peter Griffin, and the main protagonist of The Simpsons, Homer Simpson, rap against each other to see who is the funnier cartoon father. Beat produced by Cacola Announcer: (0:00 - 0:10) BEGIN! Homer Simpson: (0:10 - 0:42) Gee, I never thought I'd see a dumb-ass who's fatter than me! The biggest hog in Quahog with a more dysfunctional family! With your cheap jokes and creator voicing half the show, Your budget seems low like the bar you set as far as cartoon dads go! I'll strangle you hard like Bart to rip your thick neck apart! It'll be a cutaway gag, but it won't reek worse than your farts! Always copying my style is surely one thing I despise. I wouldn't be surprised if you even plagiarized my rhymes! They call me Homer, an epic poet! I'm on the Walk of Fame to show it, and my Emmys will let this retard know it! I'm the OG American! You wish you could be who I am! My verbal mussel will toss this shell of a man back to the Drunken Clam! Peter Griffin: (0:42 - 1:14) Look who we have here: it's the queer Homersexual Simpson! This Family Guy's gonna show you how to be less of a wimp, son! You're a bald-headed yellow-belly fellow eating donuts. I'll leave you broke, rake in the dough, and punch you (POW!) right in the (D'oh!) guts. I'm more toughened than Duffman; you can't beat this Pawtucket lover Who's giving Tom Tucker news of a fisherman dropping an anchor on this fucker! You may work at a power plant, but you seem more intoxicated at Moe's. I'm not much on brains, but I'm all brawn to mash this couch potato! You can't keep your son out of trouble, and your girls make you two look like turds. That's all I have to say except that flipping you the bird is the word! Bow to the patriarch of Griffins instead of a fight you'd be picking 'Cause I've been known to beat the shit out of big, yellow chickens! Homer Simpson: (1:14 - 1:35) Mmm…chicken. Wait, you're calling me a coward? Why you little-dick bastard! Your program completely stole from ours! At least I wasn't cancelled before! Your town's full of freaks! I'll put this hippo-Griffin down as if he were Buckbeak! Don't bring up my children when you have a loser son and daughter. Next to you, your dog, baby, and crazy nasally wife are smarter! With your parenting skills, this duel of dads won't be one you'll win. Go perform your next stupid stunt before I knock those balls off your chin! Peter Griffin: (1:35 - 1:57) You know what really grinds my gears? You trying to be funny after drinking beers. My comedy is better despite your head-start of ten years. I'm making viewers laugh hard enough to cry, and I don't even need to try. Your piss-skinned crew has dragged on for too long, so kiss my ass goodbye! You're the prey while I'm the Fox: large and in charge, And you'll spring out of Springfield again with your offspring and Marge! I'll put your Life in Hell to make sure you retire, Or this simpleton Simpson's nuts will be roasting on an open fire! Announcer: (1:57 - 2:08) WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC CARTOON RAP BATTLES! Who won? Peter Griffin Homer Simpson |-| Rap Meanings= 'Homer Simpson:' Gee, I never thought I'd see a dumb-ass who's fatter than me! (Homer Simpson starts the battle by expressing his amazement at Peter Griffin for being a character who is more obese and less intelligent than Homer. Both Peter and Homer have their weight and stupidity poked fun at on their respective shows, but Homer taunts Peter for having more of these two qualities to match his character.) The biggest hog in Quahog with a more dysfunctional family! (Homer calls Peter a pig due to his appearance and size. Quahog is the fictional town in Rhode Island where the Griffin family resides in. The Simpsons, like the Griffins, are known for being dysfunctional, meaning they behave abnormally and troublesome, but Homer thinks the Griffins act like his family to a larger degree.) With your cheap jokes and creator voicing half the show, (''Family Guy has received criticism and controversy for its crude humor of moral issues and different cultures, often saying the plots are only filled with these jokes for "cheap laughs". Seth MacFarlane, the creator of the show, voices three of the main characters: Peter, Stewie, and Brian Griffin; he also does the voice for other recurring characters. Homer thinks this is because he would rather save money by doing the voices for the show himself.)'' Your budget seems low like the bar you set as far as cartoon dads go! (From what was said in the previous line, Homer believes ''Family Guy has a cheap budget due to its low quality. He also states that Peter is at the bottom of the list for fathers who appear in animated series.)'' I'll strangle you hard like Bart to rip your thick neck apart! (A recurring event in ''The Simpsons is when Homer strangles his son Bart for something he did or said that angers him. Homer says he will strangle Peter in the neck, which is wide compared to Bart's. Homer has done this action before in "The Simpsons Guy", a crossover episode that includes their shows' characters meeting each other and interacting. Although Homer and Peter become friends in the episode, they get into an argument and end up fighting each other, where Homer strangling Peter was one of the first actions done.)'' It'll be a cutaway gag, but it won't reek worse than your farts! (A gag is another word for a joke, but it can also be used as a synonym to "choke". Since Homer mentions strangling Peter, he says he will choke him and say it is a "cutaway gag", the kind of joke commonly used in ''Family Guy. These gags start out with a character saying a random line such as "This is even worse/better than the time…", followed by a scene immediately cutting to the action described. Homer also states that this type of comedy element stinks like a fart joke, which Peter has often done on the show.)'' Always copying my style is surely one thing I despise. (''Family Guy has been criticized for having similarities to The Simpsons, especially when comparing Peter's character to Homer's. This has been referenced twice on The Simpsons: the first time was when Homer had produced several clones of him in "Treehouse of Horror XIII", with one of them being Peter Griffin, joking that Peter is only a copy of Homer, and the second time was when Peter was shown in the American criminal book for committing "Plagiarismo". Homer dislikes the fact that Peter is loosely based on him.)'' I wouldn't be surprised if you even plagiarized my rhymes! (Homer thinks Peter doesn't have any original lines, and he will only take his verses from Homer's instead. This is also a reference to the aforementioned ''Simpsons scene that accuses Peter of being a plagiarist.)'' They call me Homer, an epic poet! (Homer Simpson was named after his creator Matt Groening's father, Homer Groening, who in turn was named after the Greek poet Homer. Homer was best known for writing two epic stories: the ''Iliad and the Odyssey. Homer Simpson says that being named after him shows that he is an epic—or remarkably impressive—poet, which means he is able to rhyme well in a rap battle.)'' I'm on the Walk of Fame to show it, and my Emmys will let this retard know it! (The Simpson family have received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for their contribution to television entertainment. The show has also received many awards, most notably Emmys, which are awarded for excellence in the television industry. This was also referenced in "The Simpsons Guy" during Homer and Peter's fight: at one point, Homer opens a case of Emmy Awards to throw at Peter, who replies, "Hey, that's no fair. I don't got none of them!" Homer also calls Peter a retard since he was categorized as one in the episode "Petarded".) I'm the OG American! You wish you could be who I am! (Homer is considered to be the most "American" character on the show, as well as one of the most popular American figures on television. Because of the likeness he has with Peter, Homer claims that Peter only wants to be who Homer is to gain popularity.) My verbal mussel will toss this shell of a man back to the Drunken Clam! (Homer says his raps are strong enough to have "verbal muscle", and he makes a pun by using the word as "mussel", which refers to the name used for mollusks or clams. The phrase "shell of a man" is used to describe a man who is empty on the inside or not as he once was before. Homer could be using this to call Peter someone who is no longer amusing to watch, as well as saying that Homer's insults have left Peter feeling useless about himself. This also links to him previously talking about mussels, since mussels have shells and are often hollowed out. The Drunken Clam is the place where Peter frequently hangs out with his friends to drink beer, and it is often where he goes to cheer himself up. Homer says that Peter ought to go there after feeling empty.) 'Peter Griffin:' Look who we have here: it's the queer Homersexual Simpson! (Peter Griffin notes that he is facing Homer Simpson, but he degrades him by calling him gay. Homer's name sounds similar to "homo", often used to describe a homosexual, so Peter combines the two to make "Homersexual". This also references how ''Family Guy often makes jokes on other people's sexuality.)'' This Family Guy's gonna show you how to be less of a wimp, son! (Peter uses his show's name as a title for himself. He tells Homer that he's weak by calling him a wimp, saying furthermore that he could show him how to not be one.) You're a bald-headed yellow-belly fellow eating donuts. (A notable feature of Homer's appearance is his baldness, which is often taunted towards him by Bart. A yellow-belly is another name for a coward, and Homer is often seen eating a donut in ''Simpsons artwork.)'' I'll leave you broke, rake in the dough, and punch you (POW!) right in the (D'oh!) guts. (Though the two franchises have been said to be worth over a billion dollars each,"Billion-dollar franchise? Fox eyes 'Family' value", ''Advertising Age, April 25, 2005. Peter says he'll leave Homer worthless while he gets more of the money. He also punches Homer in the stomach while saying, "POW! Right in the guts," which is a reference to the episode "The Fat Guy Strangler". In the episode, Peter's wife Lois discovers she has a brother named Patrick Pewterschmidt who is in an insane asylum from being traumatized by seeing his mother have an affair with Jackie Gleason, whose catchphrase was "Pow, right in the kisser!" as his character Ralph Kramden from The Honeymooners. After Patrick attempted to explain this to Peter, Peter unintentionally traumatizes Patrick by dressing up like Kramden and repeatedly using his catchphrase. When Peter punches Homer, Homer exclaims "D'oh!", which is his most popular catchphrase, often used when he gets hurt or something doesn't go his way.)'' I'm more toughened than Duffman; you can't beat this Pawtucket lover (Duffman is the mascot for Duff Beer, the fictional alcoholic drink in ''The Simpsons. He is seen as a macho superhero, so Peter claims to be tougher than he is. In Family Guy, the beer brand is Pawtucket Patriot Ale; in "The Simpsons Guy", it was proven to be Duff with a sticker for Pawtucket placed over it, leading to a lawsuit over the two beers, as well as the similarity between the two franchises in general. This resulted in Peter and Homer's fight, in which Peter was seemingly shown to be victorious at the end. The line shows that even if Peter is an imitation of Homer, he claims to be a stronger and better version of him.)'' Who's giving Tom Tucker news of a fisherman dropping an anchor on this fucker! (Tom Tucker is the anchorman for Quahog 5 News. Peter formerly worked as a fisherman before his occupation at Pawtucket Brewery, and he says he'll drop an anchor on Homer, which also adds to the fact that his victory over Homer will make a good news story for an anchorman.) You may work at a power plant, but you seem more intoxicated at Moe's. (The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant is where Homer works, and he has a job working with radioactive parts. Peter says that this would cause him to be intoxicated in terms of poison due to his exposure to chemicals, but instead, Homer is more intoxicated, or drunk, at Moe's Tavern, the bar where Homer goes to.) I'm not much on brains, but I'm all brawn to mash this couch potato! (This is a play on the phrase "brains and brawn", which is used to show if intelligence or strength is the better trait. Since Peter is considered to be retarded, he lacks intelligence, so he will use physical strength instead. A couch potato is someone who sits on the couch all day without doing anything productive, often watching television. Peter calls Homer one, referencing the famous Simpsons couch gag, and adds that he will mash, or beat, him; this is a pun on the food mashed potatoes.) You can't keep your son out of trouble, and your girls make you two look like turds. (Bart Simpson is the problematic child of the family, often doing pranks that would get him in detention. Lisa and Maggie Simpson are Homer's daughters, and Lisa is known for being incredibly smart, often acting as a foil to Homer and Bart. Maggie, despite being a baby, is often shown to be capable of doing things on her own and acting more clever for her age. Because of this, Homer and Bart are seen as the more dim-witted side of the family, which was revealed in the episode "Lisa the Simpson" to come from the Simpson Gene, a family gene that causes the male members of the family to become dumber as they get older.) That's all I have to say except that flipping you the bird is the word! (Peter says that he summed up Homer's family problems from the previous line. Furthermore, he states that he only needs to flip Homer the bird, or give him the middle finger to show his disrespect. "Bird is the word" is a line from the song "Surfin' Bird", which played in the ''Family Guy episode "I Dream of Jesus". Peter constantly sang it to his family members, and it became a running gag in the show.)'' Bow to the patriarch of Griffins instead of a fight you'd be picking (Peter tells Homer to bow down to him rather than fight him, implying that he is superior. Peter's last name is Griffin, which is the name for a mythological creature with a lion's body and an eagle's head and wings. Griffins are considered powerful and majestic beings, and since Peter is the head of his family, he would have the highest authority of the Griffins.) 'Cause I've been known to beat the shit out of big, yellow chickens! (In ''Family Guy, Peter has gotten into several fights with his rival, Ernie the Giant Chicken. The first occurrence was in "Da Boom", and it has been done several more times throughout the series. Peter would always emerge victorious at the end, walking away bruised after he supposedly killed the chicken, shortly revealing that he was still alive and seeking revenge. In "The Simpsons Guy", Peter and Homer's fight was made to mimic the fights Peter has with the chicken, and Peter says Homer is like him because he's big and yellow. Peter also calls Homer a coward again, since "chickens" are a synonym for cowards.)'' 'Homer Simpson:' Mmm…chicken. Wait, you're calling me a coward? (When a type of food—or something that sounds like food—is brought up in front of Homer, he would respond with, "Mmm…" and repeat what was said. Here, he does this due to chicken being a common type of food Homer would eat, but he soon realizes the double meaning to it and reacts to Peter calling him a coward.) Why you little-dick bastard! Your program completely stole from ours! ("Why you little!" is one of Homer's catchphrases that is uttered when he expresses anger towards Bart, immediately followed by strangling him. The length of Peter's dick has been hinted to be small, especially in the episode "And the Wiener Is…", where he sees that Chris has a large manhood and begins to feel insecure about his own. Homer insults Peter once again for taking material from ''The Simpsons for Family Guy.)'' At least I wasn't cancelled before! Your town's full of freaks! (Fox had previously cancelled ''Family Guy twice,"How Family Guy Got Canceled Twice and Still Made Seth MacFarlane a Star", The Motley Fool, February 1, 2014. but its DVD sales and re-runs being shown on Adult Swim allowed it to be brought back to the network. Homer says that a reason the show was taken off the air was because it had several bizarre characters, such as Tom Tucker's son Jake and Seamus.)'' I'll put this hippo-Griffin down as if he were Buckbeak! (A hippogriff is a mythological creature that was used as a character named Buckbeak in the ''Harry Potter series. In the book he was introduced in, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Buckbeak had attacked Draco Malfoy after he insulted Buckbeak, which caused him to be executed in an alternate timeline in which Harry Potter does not save him. Since Peter is a big person, Homer says his size resembles that of a hippo, and he combines the animal with his last name to make a pun on "hippogriff".)'' Don't bring up my children when you have a loser son and daughter. (In his previous verse, Peter calls Bart a troublemaker, and Lisa and Maggie make the father and son look dumb in comparison. Homer thinks this insult is hypocritical since Meg and Chris, Peter's two oldest children, are known for having few friends and not being well-liked by other characters on the show.) Next to you, your dog, baby, and crazy nasally wife are smarter! (Brian Griffin is Peter's dog and best friend whom Peter would normally talk to for advice. Stewie is the family's baby who has a great amount of intelligence that allows him to build weapons and create evil schemes. Lois is normally the person who tries to convince Peter to not do something that would get him in trouble, although it often doesn't work. Homer says these three characters are the only smart part of the family, adding that Lois is a bit insane and has a nasal sound to her voice.) With your parenting skills, this duel of dads won't be one you'll win. (Homer says Peter has terrible parenting skills, so between the two of them, Peter would surely lose in a battle against any other father.) Go perform your next stupid stunt before I knock those balls off your chin! (In nearly every episode, Peter would get into an event that was the result of his stupidity, normally putting himself or his family in jeopardy. Homer says that this is what he does best, so he should leave to do it or he will punch Peter in the chin, which looks like a pair of testicles.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoETopg_bWg) 'Peter Griffin:' You know what really grinds my gears? You trying to be funny after drinking beers. (When Peter was an anchorman at Quahog 5 News, he had a segment titled "What Really Grinds My Gears", in which he would make a rant about things he heavily disliked. Here, he says Homer attempting to be comedic from being drunk is what annoys him.) My comedy is better despite your head-start of ten years. (Peter thinks his way of being drunk is better than Homer's, and he also believes he's a funnier character overall, possibly due to ''Family Guy focusing more on jokes than story. The Simpsons was on for a decade before Family Guy premiered, so Peter says this proves that they are able to make better jokes.)'' I'm making viewers laugh hard enough to cry, and I don't even need to try. (This plays on the lyrics to the ''Family Guy theme song, "Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry!" Peter says he's funny enough to make people laugh hard without trying.)'' Your piss-skinned crew has dragged on for too long, so kiss my ass goodbye! (Most characters from ''The Simpsons are yellow, which is the color of urine. Peter taunts Homer for being colored in this way rather than having colors like a normal cartoon human. He also says that The Simpsons has passed its prime, and the show should go away because it now sucks, which Peter said during his rant in "The Simpsons Guy" right before the fight between them occurred. He adds that Homer should kiss his ass before he leaves, which is an insult used towards someone you find inferior.)'' You're the prey while I'm the Fox: large and in charge, (FOX is the name of the channel the two shows are on, and the animal fox is known to capture prey. Peter says he would be the fox as he is superior, while Homer is the prey he catches. Furthermore, Peter is bigger, so he says he's the boss, similar to how large animals in nature are commonly the more feared ones.) And you'll spring out of Springfield again with your offspring and Marge! (Springfield, the town where the Simpsons live, has chased the family out before due to them commonly causing havoc and damages in the 500th episode "At Long Last Leave". Peter tells him to do this again as he is the one in charge, as well as taking his kids and wife Marge with him.) I'll put your Life in Hell to make sure you retire, (''Life in Hell was a comic written by Matt Groening before creating The Simpsons. Peter says he will make Homer's life miserable to ensure that he won't return to fight him.)'' Or this simpleton Simpson's nuts will be roasting on an open fire! (If Homer does not obey Peter and goes against him, Peter threatens to cook Homer's nuts and make him roasted, or insulted even more, also calling Homer a simpleton, or a fool. This is also a pun on the first episode of ''The Simpsons, "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire".)'' References Category:Blog posts